Friday, July 31, 2009

Texas summertime

Trainer Leslie, who also used to live in Texas, forwarded me this. Considering the week we had (highs of 102, 105, and 106), it was especially appropriate.

Dear Diary
June 1 : Just moved to Texas ! Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
June 14th : Really heating up. Got to 100 today . Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.
June 30th : Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today . Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today , but I love it here.
July 10th : The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
July 15th : Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th : I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat. Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.
July 25th : The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as fire. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.
July 30th : Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, $225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one. Why did I ever come here?
Aug. 4th : It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today . It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.
Aug. 8th : If another wise ass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle him. Lots of heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
Aug. 9th : Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when sat on the seats in the car, I thought I was on fire. My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried a**, and baked cat.
Aug 10th : The weather report might as well be a recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 long months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this state? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can't live in this heat.
Aug. 14th : Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today . Cactus are dead. Forgot to crack the window and blew the windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and guess what he asked me??? "Hot enough for you today?" My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Texas. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?? Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.

Ha! At the barn, we were wailing "Lomita is the lucky one!" at each other all week. The heat wave finally broke yesterday. Tonight Willow wanted to be kinda witchy at first, so I booted her forward in trot and canter for awhile, and then she offered up a super working trot, big and floaty. We have a lesson on Sunday -- maybe trainer Leslie will be impressed!


jacksonsgrrl said...

HA HA! You wouldn't truly understand the HELL unless you live here right? I take a lesson, get off my horse and go puke. Do I learn? Do I stop my lessons? HELL NO! But if this heat doesn't break soon.... I'm in Philadelphia for a week with the fam (home base) and they keep complaining how hot it is. OK. 85 degrees isn't bad. The humidity is NOTHING. It went up to 91 yesterday (whole family was whining) and I just burst out laughing at them. I told them they will have a terrible winter and I will be riding my horse! There, I got em back!!!! :)

Flying Lily said...

"Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried a**, and baked cat."

I could not stop laughing. Enjoy your cooler weather!!